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25 December 2019 - 23:47

only if you want to

Fajita pecks at her food beside the cot. Unperturbed by the sound, Mowgli sleeps on his side in a cardboard box above the chicken's carrier. In the Closet, all is still. The light in our bedroom is on, but in the Closet, the atmosphere is always dim. I can feel the cool dirt floor beneath my bare feet, even as I lay on the cot beside the chicken, with 'Ama laying beside us. I'm restless tonight.

Not sure why. Maybe it's the cat.

We spoke with A11 the other day. Saturday, I think. He was telling us that now they're up to about 29, and Xavier was freaking out. He wasn't the only one worried about this in his group, and wanted advice. I reasoned with the kid. Told him they have more control than they realize, and that in this early stage of discovery, the more they dwelled on the multiplicity itself, and the more they talked about it with Outsiders, the more unstable their inner mindspace would become, and the more likely they were to get new, sometimes unwanted, members. Angel groaned. "Oh, it's just that you're telling us exactly the same stuff Xavier has been telling us, but we wouldn't listen!" Smart kid, that Xavier. I get the impression that he's one of the frontrunners for them. Sal has exchanged a few text messages with him and Jason.

I hope our advice helped some, and I also had to explain some of these things to Kokoro-bo, since he's a bit too keen on learning about plurality. He actually told us that he wishes that he were multiple, too, and that he hopes he someday becomes that way. "No, no, dude, you're not getting it," we told him. "This isn't something you try to be. You shouldn't want to be any other way than how you already are. It's not something that makes you more special than anyone else. It's just a different way of seeing the world."

We still need to talk this over with their sister, because I know she's prone to eagerly interrogating A11 as well, and it's not always opportune.

Anyhow, it's past midnight now. Not sure what I'm going to do now. Definitely not interested in going to bed, but I just may have to. Bugs've been biting me. I think the damn cat brought fleas in before taking off, the whore. I hope not; it would be a pain in the ass, and very difficult, actually, to get them off Mowgli if they infest the little guy. He's still too young for deworming and flea-control products. I don't want the little thing to be itchy on top of everything that comes with being a tiny orphan kitten with physical developmental problems. I hope this prickly, itchy feeling on my skin is all in our mind. We'll see. Tomorrow is a brand new day.

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