It's my birthday and I'll do what I want to
Fuck you, it's my birthday.
A special holiday only for me, so do what I say
It's my party, I'll make you cry if I want to...or leave.
Fuck you, it's not your birthday, so do what I say.

For 24 hours you're wishing me well
364 days I'm in hell.
Oh well!
Happy Birthday to me!

I'm glad my mom didn't have an abortion
Or my birthday wouldn't be today.
But I guess that's just my good fortune, now do what I say, okay?

For 24 hours you're wishing me well
364 days I'm in hell.
Oh well!
Happy Birthday to me!

All alone on my Birthday
I'm going to Denny's 10 times today!
No Tip! It's my birthday, so do what I say
How could you forget my birthday?
That's really immature
Fuck you for forgetting my birthday
You didn't do what I say

24 hours no wishing me well
Now 365 days I'm in Hell
Oh well!
Happy Birthday to me!
Happy Birthday to me, Spank Me!
Oh well, Happy Birthday to me!

I can't believe you forgot my birthday
It's my birthday and you're wrecking it
Now it's just like any other day
You didn't do what I say
How could you forget my birthday?
That's really immature
Fuck you for forgetting my birthday
You didn't do what I say

For 24 hours you don't wish me well
Now 365 days I'm in Hell.
Oh well!
Happy Birthday to me!
Happy, happy birthday to me!
Happy Birthday to me!

Jack applauds and applauds.