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09 August 2018 - 09:26

I. Help.

So my mom went to work this morning and called us as soon as she got there to let us know she was coming back. Asked us to look for some bag of hers that had her work badge and keys in there. She had forgotten it. So she gets home, and I hadn't found it yet, and we looked for it together, and nope! Nowhere to be found. She was getting really anxious about it, and we felt pretty helpless, and then Jack says we should ask Saint Anthony for help, because Stephen King said he'll help you find things. We're athiest, Jack! Anyhow, he starts spinning around in the driveway (clockwise, three times), internally chanting, "Tony, Tony, come around. Something's lost that can't be found. Over land and under sea, we're the best you'll ever see!" Which of course, makes no sense. All that did was make us dizzy. And we stumble back into the house after Mom, and we're dizzy, so we're falling over, and have to keep our eyes on the floor, and because of that, we found Mom's bluebonnet bag that had all her stuff in it. It was on the dining room floor, against some boxes. 'Ama was really happy and thanked Jack personally, which made him wiggle all over in pleasure. "I help!" he peeped, "I help."

Moral of the story: sometimes, it pays to be a dumbass.

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