29 November 2019 - 19:53
finish[ed much] laterDURING THE TYPING OF THIS ENTRY, XVL & GRIZZ WERE QUASINTERGRATED. WE'LL DIFFERENTIATE BETWEEN US SOMETIMES, BUT MAINLY WE WERE SPEAKING AS ONE.
We were talking to A11 (Papo's Peeps) over the Thanksgiving holiday. They're eager to learn. Between Grizz and I, we were trying to explain, more or less, what our inner world is like. Grizz did most of the talking, as is usual. I started working on that drawing of them I promised them, though I'm still a bit hesitant about it. Grizz also has his reservations. Not on them, don't get me wrong. It's just that... I want to give them the drawing as a present, framed and everything, but I don't know how his mom will react to it if she sees it. I've brought these misgivings up to Angel, but he just shrugs and says, "She'll have to get used to it." Which makes Ninja grin and give a silent fist pump, but still makes me uneasy. As things are, I know my sister thinks we have something to do with Papo coming out multiple. She thinks we influenced him, and she has me double-guessing myself. I mean, to some extent, I think she has a point.
His siblings, Lalo and Neni, have also been increasingly curious. Lalo particularly, demands to know who he's talking to at all times. It can get a bit tedious, in all honesty.
02 December 2019, 16:13
Well, we didn't really have a chance to update this thing back when we meant to. It was Black Friday, and we were at work, and were super busy. By the time we had some time on our hands to come back to the entry, we were tired, and sweaty, and just wanted to go home. Needless to say, this thing isn't easy to update over mobile. Which brings us back to here. And yes, Sal and I are still co-running this shit. With some Ninja, obviously. *smirk* The Trio in full effect!
21:08*sigh* Okay, let's be real about this, guys. We're not gonna be able to finish the update while we're up here and the Sort is running. Let's leave the real update for when we get to the office, once we're off the clock. I'm sure there won't be anyone there.
GRIZZLY: Yeah, shut up.
So, we were discussing A11. (Steak sauce! No, Jack.) They're up to twenty members. Twenty. I can't begin to wrap my mind around it. I mean, them being that many isn't what weirds us out; it's the fact that they've been increasing exponentially. I mean, it's in their name; their original number: eleven. There were eleven of them just back in July, which is when we first found out. Was it July? Or June? Doesn't matter, really. It's been less than half a year, is what I'm sayin'. When we first "emerged" - wait, no, a better description would be when we first became aware of each other - there were nine of us. That was back in high school, senior year. And we began this diary right after graduating, a year after, I think, in 2003. That was sixteen fuckin' years ago, dawg. All this time later, and we're up to thirteen of us. Yep, in all that time, over a decade, and we've only seen our ranks increase by four. A11's already nearly doubled in size. It's freaky shit. I don't know what that means for their mental stability, if what Piojo said to me is anything to go by. Also, one of their new "arrivals" - and for them it really is an arrival; we'll explain later - is a six year old girl named Lilly. Again, I was reminded of what Piojo talked to me about, and how various people in systems fall into certain roles over time. I figured A11 didn't have any little kids because they're still so young themself, both as a system and their physical body. Yet now, they've got an Inner Child. Interesting that she's a girl, since their body is male. I wonder what that says about how they view their body. *shrugs*
GRIZZLY: Of course, I find all of this absolutely fascinating.
XVL: I find it troubling.
NINJA: Reals, dawg.
GRIZZLY: Look, I get what you both mean, and part of me is worried, too, of course. But I take my own viewpoints with a grain of salt, because as 'Ama says, "cada cabeza es un mundo." That couldn't be more fitting than in this situation. I don't want to rush and prejudge what our nephew is going through. Our experience is unique to us. After all, we've met other systems who think we're weird for having such a drab inner world. And if Piojo's right about the amount of control we have over our inner surroundings, we've kept our system this way on purpose. Perhaps subconsciously, sure, but still purposefully. Remember Yang and Spook?
*Ninja nods. Sal won't look at me, but he knows what I'm referring to.*
XVL: I'm afraid that he's too eager to be plural. That he sees this world through rose-tinted lenses and
NINJA: wants to make it his "thing." We's concerned that they be playin' up the multiplicity angle t'feel special, 'cause he's a teen, an' teenagers be all dramatic n' shit. I's mean, we's were.
GRIZZLY: It doesn't mean you're right, though. Because, see, you just think that's what's going on here. These are your preconceived notions. Sal, drawing them out won't make them any more plural than they already are, if they are.
XVL: They look up to us so much, too. It's scary and a bit creepy. I mean, look at us! We're a mess half the time!
BB: It'll be okay, sweetie.
XVL: Oh! Hi, BB. *snuggles over*
BB: I think Grizzly's right. You shouldn't overthink things. In the end, I think everything will work out for Papo, all of Papo. And maybe, by validating their existence, they won't feel the need to expand their numbers anymore. Once they mature and get to know each other, I think they will settle into a nice routine. So much of their system seems to be based on imagination, more so than ours is. They even mentioned that in their inner world, they all look two-dimensional and cartoony.
GRIZZLY: As if they're not fleshed out yet.
BB: *nodding* Exactly.
GRIZZLY: Also, notice that none of them say they look anything like their body? It's as if they're very detached from it.
XVL: Gateway system?
GRIZZLY: I think so. Totally not anything like us. Which is why I say that we shouldn't try to explain their existence through the lens of our experience. It's completely different. They were so weirded out by our lack of anything in our mindscape.
NINJA: I's think their place sounds cool.
XVL: Me too, actually. Why can't we have nice things?
*BB wraps an arm around Sal*
GRIZZLY: Well, I think we've wrung out our brain enough for one night. Preload's already begun to come in, and I honestly don't want to stay here any longer than we have to. Hate running into Outsiders when we're trying to have a conversation.
NINJA: Ditto. Le's go home.