24 December 2008 - 02:01
I hate grownups. Son feos. No me gusta that they don't take kids en cuenta. They don't... they don't see us. Son feos porque cuando they grew up, they forgot about us. They forgot about being us.
The woman made Gis cry. ¡Y no es justo! It's not fair! She is bigger than Gis y no debería hacerla cry. Yo antes la hacía cry tambien, but I said I was sorry and then I didn't do it anymore, because I am bigger than she is, and that wouldn't be fair. Piojo grabbed me once del pescueso and picked me up off the floor con la mano en mi pescueso and he shook me and I was scared of him. And he told me that the way I was scared of him then was the way Gis got scared of me when I hit her or was mean to her, so ya no lo hice, porque I knew what it was like to be scared. Sometimes I still think she is too little and no me gusta estar con ella, but I'm not mean to her anymore. Sometimes I talk to her, and dejo que me agarre los pelos on my arm. Pero the big woman no es asi. She doesn't care about us. Y that's why Gis is crying now. She was yelling: "¡Mami no me quiere! ¡Mami no me quiere!" And I think it's true, even if B.B. says it is not. B.B. says that la señora no nos ve como niños porque our body that we live in right now is big. I don't know how big it is, but it's twenty-something, so that's real old. Pero como quiera, it's still not fair, porque I'm not twenty-something, y Gis tampoco, so the woman shouldn't want us to act like we are. B.B. says the woman es nuestra mama, y Gis calls her "Mami," but I don't know her. Maybe she wasn't there when I was. No me acuerdo de nada cuando she was there, or the man que los demas say was our dad. We have a picture of him with us somewhere, but I don't know where the picture was taken. Como quiera, no me acuerdo. I'm not in the picture. Sometimes los demas send me their memories to see if I will remember too, but it doesn't work that way. Like ahorita, I was given a memory of the man's hands, agarrando our hands and squeezing gently, pero they don't mean anything to me. Las quiero morder, because they have veins popping out against the skin. Se ven raras.
Gis estaba llorando porque la señora no le quiso decir goodnight. I told her que ya no chille. Es por eso that I don't like that she is so small; she cries a lot. No sabe hacer otra cosa. And then Jack cries porque ella llora, and then I can't talk to anybody porque los demas son grownups and no me gustan los grownups. They don't see the kids they used to be. Yo soy the kid they used to be, pero no se acuerdan. Maybe Ninja, pero he scares me when he gets mad, so no hablo mucho con el. He is tough, y es tosco con Gis y Jack so I don't talk to him a lot. I don't want him to be tosco with me. And he's what is called a frontrunner. Eso quiere decir que he is in charge of almost everyone. Como Grizzly y Sal. Piojo no es fruntrunner, pero he is stronger than Ninja and Grizzly and Sal todos juntos! That is because he is The Protector of all of us. He told Gis to stop crying, y luego le preguntaron a Grizzly que porque did he let Gis control the body and make the body cry. Que porque did he let her make the body scared and sad, y Grizzly dijo algo but I couldn't hear it okay. No les hago mucho caso a los grownups because they are boring tambien. When you grow up you get boring, eso si. That is another thing that is bad about them. Pero lo malo de estar chiquitito como Gis es that you get scared and cry for everything. Gis cries for everything. Es muy sensible. Yo no. Y luego Jack is very connected to her, so el llora tambien, pero a el lo hacen happy de volada. No'mas con darle cookies or milk.
Yo tengo que cuidar a los dos, even if Piojo has the protector job. Es porque Piojo nos da miedo sometimes too, y yo soy mas grande. I am like in-between los grownups and the kids. I don't like to talk or write or put down what I think porque no hablo mucho. I think that I don't talk a lot porque I don't have anyone like me to talk with. Pero no me gusta hablar mucho como quiera. No'mas queria hacer write aqui que no me gustan los grownups porque son muy malos y muy feos. They should know when we are kids by now, porque los grownups in here have already told the grownups out there that we have kids in the system, so they should know better. No deberian hacer llorar a la niña. Ojala que Grizzly nos empiece a decir la bedtime story de Outcast y de Loner. A Jack le gusta, y a mi tambien. Gisita siempre se duerme when she hears it, y se duerme before Grizzly gets to finish. Pero tambien, he never finishes. Creo que that is the best part. No me gustan los grownups, pero at least los que estan aqui adentro are not too bad and can make good stories.