02 April 2005 - 19:00
I hate everything that has to do with him. Everything.
Rule called and asked us to drive him to El Globo so he could stock up on beer. La venta mañana promete ser buena, I guess. He also asked if we wanted some Church's, and mom and us said no, we were still full-up from lunch. So we drive over to our father's house to pick the asshole up and drive him to the store. María calls us on the cell as we drive; she and Dud and us agreed to chat on three-way. Everything was fine as we drove over there, just fine. We got to the store, he got out and went inside to buy his booze.
Then he came outside, and IT began. He started bitching. "Ya quitate del pinche telefono," he snapped, and Polla frowned. He kept saying it was a distraction, and he was probably right, but we don't give a shit. Finally, he exploded and cursed at us, and that was it for us. Piojo took over as Polla said hastily to María and Dud over the phone: "Luego les hablo." Her tears were hot behind our eyes and threatened to spill over, but Piojo froze our face and looked straight ahead. Pifas has seen Piojo before, but they don't talk. This was no exception. Piojo refused to have any sort of contact with our father, just looked straight ahead instead, answering him coldly only when absolutely necessary. We did not argue with Raul, we did not fight. We shut him out, which is worse.
Huerca estupida, Piojo snarled several times to Polla as she fought to gulp down her angry sobbs. I mean, who the fuck he think he is, dawg, talkin' to us like that?! But Piojo refused, as he always does, to let our emotions show on his face. He made our tears dry up before they could spill, wrapped his cold blanket around us and Rule couldn't reach us anymore.
I know that hurts him, Piojo hurts anyone he comes in contact with, but for the moment we were grateful, and didn't care. We really loved our protector during that drive back to Pifas's place. We said nothing as he unloaded the cases of bear. Nothing as he took his damn Church's chicken with him. He tried to say goodbye to us and loosen things up a bit, but of course we refused. "Bai, cui--" he began. Cuidate, take care, be safe, I love you, I'm sorry. But Piojo never gave a shit about apologies. "Bye." he said decisively, like ice, and our father's voice died in his throat. I knew we hurt him then, but even so, it wasn't enough. As we pulled away from his parking lot, Ninja muttered: "Go rot." And BB shook her head, because she knew we didn't mean it, that despite the fact he's a total asshole sometimes, we still love our father. That is why Polla cries, why Ninja cranked up the radio to where he couldn't hear her sobs no more. And why we type this now.
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