Get your ow
n diary at! contact me older entries newest entry

13 November 2007 - 01:44

The Rise and Fall of the Big Bad Wolf

I think I just scared my mother. Shit, that's not what I meant to do. It's never what I mean to do, but it happens... it always happens. I scare people. All the fuckin' time. Either that, or I hurt them. *sigh* Anywho's...

NINJA: I'm Sandra Auroring wit' someone who wants to cry righ' now. Prob'ly one a the girls. Or a kid. Maybe Jackie-boy, but more n' likely the Incredible Non-Existing Monkey Boy. Sheesh, what a riot.

I didn' mean ta scare her none, honest. I just got so damn mad...! 'T's always da same... an' over stupid shit, too. I mean, what the fuck could that role of two-sided padded tape've cost? I don't even remember buyin' the damn thing. Dat's how long 'go dat was. 'K, I'm feeling more like myself 'gain. Whoever was wit' me now's fadin' 'way. I dunno, I feel more "primitive" n' shit. Maybe Grizzler's right. Maybe I am an idiot dat runs on testosterone n' rage. Even I can tell my grammer's gettin' worse. So... er, where was I? Yeah, dat's right. I scared the ol' woman. Why?

Over tape. Over stupid tape. I saw it there on the floor n' got mad. But dat's not what got me goin'. I mean, yeah, it irked the crap outta me, seein' it there all tangled on itself n' shit, but when I tried ta straighten it out n' roll it back up a piece tore off. Then several other pieces. 'Cause it's two-sided foam-padded sticky-as-shit tape, a 'course it's gon' stick on itself. 'Course it's gon' tear. 'N dat's what got me goin'. I just got pissed off beyond belief (which is the only way I's know how to get pissed off) n' started hissin' out how much I's hate dat damn hoe I got stuck wit' for a sister n' how she needs to keep her damn kid ON A LEASH n' how it was prob'ly her stupid cats n' how I woulda just punched her fuckin' face in if only she was 'wake, n' how all she had to've done was ta CLOSE THE FUCKIN' DOOR n' how I'm gon' lock my room from now on when I ain't home. An' all this time, the ol' lady just stood there, gapin' at me. Like she didn' know whether ta laugh or cry at me. Her mouth twitched a little but I saw her eyes start ta glaze over wit' unshed tears an' she looked scared. I guess dat's what brought the others back from the corner I'd shoved 'em into. Someone tried ta laugh it off, but I didn' wanna let go a the Body, so I's know it sounded forced. But even I didn' want the ol' woman ta be scared a' me, 'cause I knows sometimes I scare the kids, n' I make 'em cry. When they saw her cry, one of 'em wanted ta cry too, real bad. Maybe it was da Little One. She's real close to the old woman. I mean, she is our mother, after all. I's just don' feel it sometimes. At times I jus' feel so detatched from all's 'em Outsider folks. Like dey're all far far away's n' they can't reach me. I's feel no kinship to any of 'em sometimes, even tho' I's love the old woman ta death. I really do love her. An' I don' wan' her bein' scared a'me. So I's let the others dominate for a while. It was stupid a'me, dat was. I's hardly ever dom'nant 'round her 'cause I kno' I's scare 'er. She's always been afraid a'me, an' it hurts. It always hurts.


Now where's dat damn protector an' his blanket?

PIOJO: It is a quilt. *And he wraps up the thug in it, and takes him away*

previous - next

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! spread the insanity Get
 your own fun + free diary at!