30 October 2004 - 11:51
-------------There are those who believe multiplicity ain't real. And I can understand where they're coming from. Hell, I wouldn' wanna believe in aliens if I could help it. But I do. And more than that, I know they're real. And multiplicity is very real too.
Now, there are those who fear multiplicity. And I can see where they're coming from too. I fear it sometimes, but I fear intigration more. I fear the lonliness most.
There are those who say multiplicity is a misdiagnosis, and I can certainly agree with that. Many times it's created by the same therapists and doctors trying to treat us. But true multiples aren't freaks of nature, we're not weakling monsters, reslults of trauma too harsh to bear. We're normal people. With normal jobs. We don't need attention from the media, in fact, we shun from the spotlight. We just wanna be accepted for who we are.
Then why this diary, you ask? If I don't want attention, why do I publicly state what I am? Well, you don't know who I am, physically, do you? Do you see a webcam anywhere around here? Can you track me down to my house? What the fuck do you cyber-idiots know about me? You don't even know my name. Pussies.
I write in this shit to give some people out there with misconceptions a sneak peak at what really goes on in our heads. And I know not all multiples will think like all of me. There are some that will cling tightly to their label in order to hide from a crueler reality. It's just that this is not my case. I don't consider multiplicity as a disorder, and I know there are other systems out there who don't either. There is no such thing as MPD or DID. Multiplicity has been a gift to me. To all of us within this body. We're a family. Anyone who poses a threat to this state of mine will be shut out of our life forever. That includes family, as I've well told them time and again.
People out there need to stop fearing, including people who claim to have this 'disorder'. We are not insane. Nothing bad has happened to me that I can't cope with. If I have what I have, it's because I have it, and I don't need another reason. Neither should you.