Today, Aaron showed up late to work, and he was drunk to boot. He even admitted it with a sheepish, wobbly grin. Zamira claims she saw him almost fall over, but we didn't see anything. Anyhow, Ninja can't stand other drunk people. I say "other" because he's been known to get tanked himself, but in private, when we're alone. Well, seeing Aaron drunk REALLY pissed the crap out of our buddy here, and he went bellistic. Not at work, of course, but inside our head, he was raging. I've never heard so many profane words stringed together in a coherent sentence. Not that Ninja was too coherent, but he was, at least, more coherent than Aaron. And then we saw him drive off (Aaron), and the instant we set foot inside the van, Ninja let us have it! He bitched us ALL out in an attempt to understand his own fury, and we finally hit the nail on the head: Marco. Yup. Funny how he influences us so much despite the fact he's dead.

"It jus' pisses me off, dawg," our brother said, "that it wuz becuase of some pendejo like him that Marco ain't here, that he's dead!"

I think he needs to move on, but how to tell him? He's too furious to speak to any of us right now; he yelled at Polla and BB (but more so to Polla) all the way home, and to some of us guys, too. And we weren't even standing up for the guy or anything! Sheesh.

We get home and 'Ama comes to greet us. Ninja asks for a hug, becuase he damn well needed one. He gets it, and it makes him fall apart all over again. Combined with the girls' mixed emotions towards Aaron, we nearly cried, and that just pissed off Ninja even more. 'Ama is still not used to her raging son. She doesn't really know all of us, and she rarely speaks to Ninja because of the language barrier between them. And so, naturally, she got freaked out big time when she saw (and heard) us yell. There was nothing to yell at, Aaron was gone. And he's out there in the night, somewhere, getting even more tanked, probably, at a club or something. [I's can't wait ta see his ass Monday, dawg, so I's can kick his fuckin' punk ass!] Mom backed away into the living room subtley, insisting that we eat before we talk to her; she was afraid we'd get indigestion. I'm afraid we're gonna get a fuckin' ulcer.

But nah, we're calmer now, thanks in great part to this diary. Grizzler's a frontrunner too, like Ninja and Svl, and so they can absorb some of his anger away and vent it in other ways than yelling and stabbing doors. Grizz let us breathe deep a bit, and then we started on this entry. We feel better already. I mean, Ninja's still pretty ticked, but he's in the Closet now.

Of course, this all also has to do with Angel. �Mi pobre Angelito! He's sick the poor thing, and he's gonna need surgery. Totita is a wreck right now, of course. So is 'Ama. That's why I told Ninja it wasn't such a good idea to try and vent with her; maybe we should've waited for Mar�a to get out of work, but he couldn't hold it in, and he's not in the mood to listen to me anyhow. He hates me and Polla right now too. I feel so guilty about all this, really I do. But I can't help feeling this way for Aaron, he's so hard not to like. I mean, he's funny,

He ain't smart, don't ya dare fuckin' type in this shit that he's smart 'cause no he fuckin' ain't! I knows that's what you were gon' type!

Ok, fine. So he's an idiot. But he's cute, okay? I don't even know why I like him myself! But Ninja, we get along so well with him! Even you do!

It ain't by choice, believe me. Fuckin' ass.

You know, I think that out of all of us, Aaron must like you the most out of all of us, Ninja.

Fuck that shit, I don' need it.

Seriously, I think he does. I mean, sure, he has no idea it's you, but you're the coolest one of all of us, Ninja. He knows that, that's why he likes you, and he likes talking to you.

Damn idjit prob'ly don' even know how ta change his own motor oil...

Pero ya, let it go! We've got the whole weekend to think about something else. The whole weekend!

I hope he dies. I hope he crashes into a fuckin' pole fer realz, dawg.