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03 June 2019 - 13:13


GRIZZLY: I remember Angel playing with markers ever since he was a toddler. He wouldn't color with them. Instead, he'd spread them all out in front of him, put them in rows, organize them by color, then move them around. He would sometimes make quiet noises while doing this. It made me wonder if he had autism, like my cousin, Baloo. Now it turns out he's like me, like us. Like 'Apa before me. A part of me chokes up, and I want to cry.

23:10 XVL: Being a teenager is hard enough, man. It was rough for me, for all of me's, because we weren't exactly sure what was going on with all the contradicting voices in our head. Add hormones to that, and peer pressure, and mounting school pressures and more responsibilities over all, and that's one chaotic mess.

But now that Papo has told me a bit about his inner peeps (BB: It was endearing how he asked us if we wanted him to describe each of them!), I keep going back to those markers. Most of them are named by color. There's Red, White and Blue, and now Grey, Positive and Negative. He told us there are seven of them ("I think," he told us in the car.), so I don't know if he counts himself as the seventh one. Does Angel's system have a core? That's fascinating, because we don't have one. He said that in his inner mindscape, they all look cartoony. Which is also interesting, because to me, we've all seemed pretty detailed and realistic looking, even Jack, though the way he moves about sometimes seems as though he defies the laws of physics.

I wonder if Angel will give a name to his system. (POLLA: The Tenshis!) Now, now, we can't pick one for them. They have to pick one themself. But I'm glad he's delving into his inner world, meeting new family members. I hope they all become friends, the way we have, for the most part.

GRIZZLY: He asked us where we got our names, and I'm not sure. We've always had our names, or it feels that way, anyway. Most of them are nicknames we've been called throughout our life. Except for Ninja. Him, I don't know where he got that moniker.

NINJA: It's because I be a ninja, yo.

[We laugh good-naturedly.]

GRIZZLY: Anyhow, I really want to talk to them, as individuals. I hope someday they'll allow us to. This morning, Kokoro-bo leaned over to us at the table and whispered, "Hey, Tiojo, are you Grizzly right now?" He's adorable when he's excited, I know, B. I think so, too. I never really put much thought into which one of us interacts with the kids the most. I'm there, obviously, to explain things when they need explaining.

NINJA: Tha's why dey think we know ever'thin'. 'Cause you be a know-it-all.

POLLA: Well, to me, it's super obvious which ones hang around the kids most. It's Grizzly and Jack and Sal and BB. But a lot of us like to hang around and listen and watch, even if we don't interact as much as the four of you.

XVL: Well, it's late, and we need to go home so we can get up early tomorrow. Hopefully work won't kick our ass as badly as it did today.

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