19 October 2005 - 16:01
los tres juntos'Apa brought us some food to eat, but we're not hungry. For our own sake, most of us have retreated deeply into the Closet, save for Piojo, Yang Black, and Da Ninja. And since Piojo's dominant right now, we haven't eaten. Piojo never gets hungry. He doesn't eat at all, not ever.
I feel Piojo's the only thing holding us together now, as usual. But we're so close to succumbing to depression it's frightening. He'll have to go to work for us today. When Ninja emerges, we're so angry all the time, because we don't know how to vent our frustration and conflicting emotions. And I desperately need a cigarrette.
Gah. My shoulders be saggin', yo. I be so tired all da time now! I's don' even wan' go ta work. I haven' been wantin' ta go fer the past few days, since last fuckin' week, even. I don' wanna do shit. I's jus' wanna go into da Closet, curl up into a ball and cry. 'But naw, Ninja, ya can't do dat! We need you out there, yer stronger than me, save me!' they say. An' it be true, but it still sucks that I's don't gotta chance to rest. I's need a drink, but I's know wastin' my liver away won' help a bit. Jus' like my man Yang knows it ain't no use smokin' anythin'. The nicotine an' da booze might ease ourself fer a few minutes, maybe even a few hours, but the problem ain't gon' go away. It'll still be there cuando se nos pase la cruda, an' then it'll all be worse. I don't need a hangover on top of all this shit.
I try to stand tall, but don't know how much I can take. I've got my two boys at my back, watching me. They've got me covered if I fall, if I stumble. They'll take over for me, one by one.
I got yer back, an you's got mine, dat's the way it works, pardner, that's the way we ride...
I've got to keep going, I've just got to keep fighting this
I'm nothing if I quit, dawg, don't ya let me quit, dawg
I've always sucked at rapping, Ninja. I don't know what you were thinking.
Hell, me neither! Yeah, y'd better jus' leave the flowin' ta me, bro'.
Anyhow, we out.