16 November 2009 - 01:51
propheciesTonight's Head Music: Buried Alive by Otep.
Quote: I speak in verses, prophecies and curses... I hate my life...
NINJA: There's lots a shit goin' on in my mind righ' now. It be whirlin' in here.
I's can't real' sleep. Grizz be playin' NeoQuest t'keep our brain occupied. I's said, 'fuck that!' an' went over to wash some dishes. See, I ain't that bad a guy. But o'course, no one'll notice t'morrow. It be only a little bit of dishes. I ain't that nice.
Then B' is all worryin' an' shit 'bout t'morrow at work. *shrug* A'ight, I's admit I be too, but it ain't like I be the only one that won't have done those friggin' trainin' modules. At least, I's don' think I'll be the only one. Nacho, Zami n' Aaron probably won't have 'em all done neither. Well, maybe the kid will've. Still, even if I be the only one to not have 'em all done... well, tough shit. Worryin' 'bout it tonight ain't gon' change what comes tomorrow, whatever it be.
Then there's the whole thing with the Dud.
YANG: Come on, don' start with that...
NINJA: I's got to, dawg. It be the main reason I be up righ' now. An' don' worry... I's ain't gon' go into how I's hate her fuckin' ass n' shit. I's know it makes the rest of y'all uncomfortable.
Naw, but I's seriously don' get her. I's mean, I's know what she be gettin' at, an' I's don' real' blame her fer that shit. I's don' even blame her fer tryin' t'get closer t'church n' shit. What's I's don' get is why she's all tryin' t'bond wit' us alla sudden. Maybe she be lonely 'r somethin', but that ain't our shit, y'know?
POLLA: It is our shit, you cumquat, she's our sister!
NINJA: Well, it ain't my shit. An' anyway, if she be tryin' to have a nice conversation wit' y'all, she be goin' 'bout it the wrong fuckin' way. Not a good subject t'start us off on, God. Shit, I's ain't even sure where we stand on that shit!
GRIZZLY: I don't either. That's why I went and bought that book today at Barnes & Noble. I think we're all trying to figure that out. We've been putting it off for so long... Don't think I haven't noticed it's affecting the existence of Prophet and Piojo. They're hardly around anymore!
POLLA: I know, it's scary! Do... do you think we're killing them?
SVL: Or that we already did?
NINJA: That be creepy shit, yo, don't even joke 'bout that shit!
SVL: I wasn't joking. I know Piojo's still around. We see him less and less, but we still see him nonetheless. The kids are still close to him. But it's as if his role within our family has diminished to almost nothing. Almost like he's our fall-back. Our comfort spot. What keeps us from losing control. But other than that, he's not around to talk to anymore. Not even to boss us around or bully us into what he deems "good social behavior." I can't even remember when the last time it was that he actually stepped in and kept us from doing something stupid, or gave us some stern, but insightful talking down to. And as for Prophet... shit, when was the last time any of us heard of it? It's been years since we've actually seen it, and at least I haven't felt it anywhere around since Dad's death. Not even for the funeral.
NINJA: What if it left wit' the ol' man?
BB: Shit, now I'm starting to panic.
GRIZZLY: I don't think we need to be at that point yet, B'. My theory is that Prophet simply moved on somewhere in the Closet where we can't reach it. For whatever reason. I certainly don't think it's dead. Piojo neither. Maybe we just don't need them as much anymore. Or don't realize we do.
BB: But Grizzly, even back when we decided we didn't need Piojo around us - which has been almost since the beginning of us knowing of his existence - he was always there. We hated it, but there he was. If he felt we still needed him, he'd still be around us, right? And, I mean, we're not as disciplined as we used to be when he was more dominant. It's almost as though he's gone lax. He lets us do what we want, or at least it seems that way, because he's not here to stop us. We feel less regrets about bad things we do, either individually or as a whole, and he doesn't even step in to chastise us! What gives? We're a worse person now without him! And we know we are, and know we need him, and he still won't fucking appear! Where the fuck is he? Can you hear me, you asshole? Where the fuck are you?!
SVL: Er... I don't think that'll work, BB...
BB: I don't care! *sobs* I just feel so lost now! And this whole mess with Toty...
NINJA: Hey, wait a fuck! What if she be killin' him?
YANG: What the hell are you talking about?
NINJA: Think 'bout it! It was when the Dud firs' left t'Kuwait that we's started hearin' each other talk in our head. We's got t'know each other because we's had no one else. You guy's've even said yerselves that if the Dud hadn't gon' 'way, we's might've never found out 'bout each other 'cause we'd've had a... whatsitcalled? Emotional vent 'r somethin'. You's get what I's mean. An' even after she's came back from th'war, she moved out and made her own friggin' life. An' good riddance, too. But every time she comes home, we's grow weaker as a whole. Not's only because we's have someone t'talk to, but because she's all weirded out by us bein' multiple. There's the whole deal wit' me not likin' her, so I's try to not come out as much when she be around. I's shut the fuck up. An' so does Piojo. The only time we's have t'ourself is in our room, or in our closet. But now wit' her kids runnin' aroun' the damn house, she be wantin' us t'be around everyone all the goddamn time. We's don' got time t'be wit' ourself anymore! An' I's think that's why we're losin' touch wit' everythin' inside the Closet. In my 'pinion, Proph n' the Protector're jus' the firs' t'go.
POLLA: You really need to stop talking all that bullshit before the kids hear you. You're just gonna scare the crap out of everyone!
NINJA: But I's got a point, don' I?
MOCO: Watchale, ¡que me desaparesca yo!
NINJA: I's ain't jokin', dawg!
MOCO: Mira, ya parale a tu pedo. Todo esto tiene que ver con el hecho de que no te cae bien.
NINJA: It ain't it, dammit! Sure, I's hate her fuckin' ass, but I'm bein' serious 'bout this! Listen, I's don' frontrun as much anymore, so I know's I'm gon' eventually fade soon. I's don' front at home, 'cause I's feel trapped here now, what wit' her kids but mostly 'cause y'all's won' let me tell her shit to her fuckin' face. So I's shut up an' go 'way. An' at work, just hearin' whatserfatface is enough t'piss me the fuck off. So y'all's don' like me bein' there neither. Hells, I don' even drive Mak 'round as much anymore. Next thing y'know, I's won' be there to help us know how t'do an oil change!
YANG: I think you're taking things a bit to the extreme, man...
NINJA: Well, I ain't! Y'all's jus' wait n' see.
GRIZZLY: Well, that's kind of a sour note to leave this at, but it'll just have to be that way. It's getting quite late, and we need to go to sleep so we can wake up early tomorrow.
MOCO: Antes de que se nos pase el pinche camion de la basura, es cierto.
BB: I guess it's off to bed then. And Ninja?
BB: I really hope you're wrong about this. *lip trembles* I don't want to lose any of you guys.
Ninja sighs, then walks over and puts an arm around BB.
NINJA: I's don' either. I's 'member the way shit was when we's were younger an' didn't know we's were all t'gether in our brain. *grins* Shit wasn't as fun back then.